check out what, if any, grand parent rights exist there. I doubt many do with a bio mom and dad but it doesn't hurt to ask. And remember how low she MIGHT get with the "sleeping with the kids" BS...
keep your own camera and journal. And protect yourself FIB. ((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
XXX:I will be picking up the kids at 2:30 on Saturday. So that they can go to their cousin's BD party. Please have them home by then. I will bring them home after so they can have the rest of the evening with you.
Me:XXX...Saturday is my only full day with them. She has lacrosse practice in the afternoon. I do not wish to lose that time with them. However, if u wish to give some time back to me on Sunday...eg...to let D6 go to her teammates BD party (which she refused), let me know
XXX: Fine..you can bring D6 2 the Pavarotti's party after and i will bring S8. 4 the record I have had to make many concessions on Sundays for your family (not true). U have 2b more flexible (????????)
Me:It's the other way around. I will completely work with u if u will show me the same respect. I will take them to the two parties...12-4 and have them back to u for dinner...I will have the kids at the house for u at 2:30 if u will return them similarly. let me know
XXX:No. S8 will go with me 2 the Pavarotti's. You can meet us there with S6
Me: No...that's not a fair equal compromise. I'm sorry...figure out something fair
XXX: What compromise have u made 4 me? I have apoken 2 my atty and you have no right 2 withhold the kids from my family on birthdays (notice the plural...never happened). I don't do it 2 you (lie..she withheld them on several religious holidays) and that is it. I don't have 2 compromise any further.
Me: I am not withholding them ...I am asking you to return equitable time. This is an easy compromise XXX...then I'll take kids Sunday AM..to first BD and u take them to Pavarotti's. That's easy.
Am I out of line here? Would this be...as my atty says..."nitpicking".
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
FIB - I am torn on what advice to give for this. All I can say is consider issues like this when writting up the parenting plan so that it is clear on who has them for what types of events and when.
Here ara a couple of books you might consider reading...
what kerry said and also the book "What About the Kids?" is a good one although I only read the first half and got too freaked out and that was 2 years ago BUT it sure delineated the painful process and DETAILS we sometimes forget.
(Sigh) I would probably say, ONCE in writing or texts, a "revision" of her memory. Deny that you witheld (She may see your "silence as consent" and give her UP TO 3 examples (no more than 3 or she'll tune out, and I say this from jury experience and audiences...etc) of when SHE withheld. You can start/or follow w/ "Not to be picky, but accurate, here's MY recall of....." and tell her, IN WRITING IN SOME FORM, the brief truth. You MAY want to follow with a stick of some sort like "MY L tells me "X and Y" and OR how she's violating what is in writing, etc.
Hey I still don't know the answer--do you have SOMETHING in writing or not?
(( )) J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
FIB, You need to have a custody and visitation plan legally ironed out and signed, sealed and delivered ASAP. And you are trying to defend yourself, reasoning and debating her? Each time you engage her in this kind of dialog you have lost as soon as you as much as open your mouth. You are getting dragged down into the muck. So do not engage her. Her attorney needs to talk to your attorney and you follow what your attorney tells you to do here.
I disagree, though not strongly. Just seems as if FIB takes it and takes it and never gives her any "reality therapy" back.
Just food for thought. J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I will just clarify that I said that the texting seemed nit pickey. The subject matter does need to be addressed, but the texting never works so why continue down a road that you know leads nowhere?
The bottom line FIB, you need a set parenting plan that you can legally enforce so these interactions become a mute point. When it is your day, it's your day. When it is hers, it's hers. Plain and simple and honestly, in the best interest of your kids.
Hey FIB, checking in with you. I have to agree that the texts are not getting you anywhere except going in circles. She is going to tell how she remembers things and there is nothing you could do about it.
I dont know what you should do, but, I think that something has to be done. There has to be something put in writing. However, there will be times, like this past weekend, when things come up so you both have to try to put the children first.
I could only imagine how difficult this situation is for you. FIB, this is someone you have to deal with for many years to come. It behooves you to try and figure out a way to deal with her. I hope once you are not living together that things become more tolerable.
As always, my offer to speak with her stands - LOL!
