Well more journalling since no one seems to be around to talk - (hope it is for good reasons!)
After some time I went back to read my goals to re-assess progress. 1) H remains sober 2) talks about making amends with family but avoids them, d's grad is next week don't know if he will end up going (I don't think it should be this way) 3) he is talking but not listening so much, interrupting me all the time 4) instead of arguing, he walks out, dropping whatever plans we had made (old behavior) 5) helped with the yard work, and made appt for car maintenance and agreed to take me for some f/u tests at the hospital but it remains to be seen if he follows through (it usually depends on his mood at the time) 6) stuck on the past again, blaming, taking stands that divide us rather than bring us closer 7) just turned in vac days at work and now I have to take them back -
What I am learning? 1) he isn't stable yet 2) I can't depend on him yet 3) he isn't ready to work on R 4) he does things in half measures 5) he isn't able to meet my needs yet
What I want to know?
Will any of this get better or not? So far this has been a half-a*** M, and I don't see it getting better and worse part is his IC and AA don't want him to work on the M yet. We have only been M 2 1/2 years, been S one year and if he takes another year - then we will have been apart more than together? What kind of sense does that make?
I guess it is obvious that I am angry - about the sitch, the M, the problems, and the disappointments. Maybe I am over reacting right now but everytime I start to get comfortable in this R, the rug gets pulled out and not just for me - it happens with him too - This is so sad.
