Thanks paul, I have good days and bad, but I can truly say, approaching my 3 year mark, mostly good. I do have red buttons, and those red buttons, if pushed, can send me off into a spiral, but I have identified most of them now...
its all about working on myself now, trying to heal as best as I can and just move forward. I am SO beyond caring if I ever get another partner - I did the whole rebound thing, that seriously sucked - now I can actually confortably see myself single for life and justing living quietly. Half the time I imagine I have to much emotional baggage to expect anyone else to carry for me anyway. If I can help other people---- im doing something. as for help for me - there really isnt any in my situation. I have to help myself, thru god, prayer, and doing some good in this world because you know what? NONE of us get stuff thats truly unfair. i really believe that. if it was my karma then I can spend a LONG time overcoming that karma... and intend to
your a person in your own right. your partner doesnt make you who you are. you are you. you were you before you met her and you will be you after shes gone. When the fear of being ALONE finally wears off, you look around and realise its just not that bad anyway. SURE its a lovely idea to have someone to share things with intimately, but you will STILL have other people to share MOST stuff in life with - and thats EVEN IF YOU NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN! its only ONE aspect of life. I can ASSURE you as a girl who lived with her partner since 16 years old, you DO get to a point where you are pretty much OK... and in SOME ways, begin to wonder if you could ever really give up your independant ways if you wanted to !
ive had plenty of offers, and none interest me whatsover, im in the process of still just 'recovery' right now, and im doin that for ME. dont care if i never have another man. its just not on my 'important' list anymore.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
