Bob - I saw this post on another marriage forum and thought I would copy and paste it for you, so you can see some other stories about swinging.....
So...my wife and I did something really stupid with our marriage. I guess we just took it for granted. We thought "hey, why not start swinging?" And we did. My wife and I truely love each other and are very devoted, so I thought anyway. It went great for about 3 months and even boosted our sex life with each other. Great right? So I went on a business trip and she said she was hooking up with a guy. No biggie, we had the rules layed out an all. But this one turned bad. She got emotionally involved with this guy and talked to him on the phone and texting for the next 4 days until I got home. Funny how she didn't seem the same on the phone after the night she went out with him. So she tells me the night I get home that she thinks we need a break!!!! We talked about it and she didn't come out and say anything about being involved with this guy after the fact. I was devistated. But after reviewing phone records the next morning it was apparent something was going on between them and they were texting each other constantly until the moment she pulled in the driveway after returning from work the day I got home. Also, she didn't respond to me when I was trying to get a hold of her that day.
Now, I went crazy about this and told the guy never to speak to her again (to put it nicely). She met with him that day and "she says" that they agreed not to contact each other anymore and as far as I know they haven't. She said she needed to see him to see if HE was the reason for these feelings she was having and she said it wasn't him. We continued to talk this over that weekend and she really seemed ligit in her concern about out marriage and not sure what was happening. She isn't sure what she wants anyone and that she needs to move out but still wants to be a family.......sounds funny to me. She cryed, I cryed and we both know this swinging crap is the cause of all this. She isn't sure now if she wants to be married all her life or where her life is going, but she does admit that it figures she would screw it up.
She now has an apartment and will be moving out on the first of the month. Currently, everything goes on in the house as if nothing is happening.....I cant take it! She claims now that it wasn't just the "guy" but it was something building up for a while and we were growing apart. I didn't see it that way. Neither one of us hate the other or even dislike each other. We get along so great and even during all of this. But I kind of just want to blow up and wipe my hands clean mostly because I cant believe a "boy toy" fling screwed up a wonderful marriage. I am so confused by all of this........
The "plan" is to rebuild our marriage back the way it is/was/should be. Any she feels she needs to make this move in order to do this. Am I being stupid if I buy into this or am I being strung along as a husband?
