Just a brief update from another WAW-free weekend. Yesterday evening WAW e-mailed to ask if we could "talk about today's miscommunication" (the Great Medium E-Mail Imbroglio of 2009). I replied, "That sounds like a good idea."
And so after the kids went to bed, down WAW came. Sat down on the sofa. "So?"
SP: Ummmm, sooooooo, what, exactly? WAW: What did you want to talk about? SP: Ummmmmm, huh? I thought you wanted to talk about the argument today. WAW: Yeah. What do you have to say about it?
Now at this point you might be just as puzzled as I. But it went along, not sure how, and after half an hour we got to the point where we were at after the argument. Essentially everything I do is wrong.
We moved from there to my reaction to the divorce papers service (accepting, but irritated). And then to the recurring topic of guilt over the kids, how terrible next weekend will be, etc.
And I listened and validated. She didn't ask me for my feelings and I didn't offer them.
When she said "You must hate me," I told her that, while I hate the situation and I hate what it says about our marriage and what it will do to the kids and etc., I don't hate her. I understand that, from her POV, this is what she has to do to survive -- I disagree, but I understand.
And when she observed that I was "obviously moving on -- any 'lunches' this week?" I replied that we do what we have to do, but I do miss her, I miss the little things that added up to the marriage in my mind -- to which she replied she never noticed I liked them during the marriage, etc. -- and that at least I was learning from the experience for the benefit of myself and the two youngsters and all the future ex-Mrs. Smiley's Persons. To which she laughed and went to bed.
And that was that. She left this morning and will be back at bedtime tomorrow night.
On the bad news front, it appears that my job might be in some jeopardy. Which, among other things, will exacerbate the spousal support issue to the -nth degree.
But that is a problem for another day, said Scarlett O'Smiley.
For now, SmileyBob MojoPants is Ready. Ready, ready, ready.
