Thank you for your kind words and your wishes. Regarding the neighbour I always make sure these days that I chat to him and his wife when they are in the garden, so that they can see how awful it is to have no shrubs anymore – LOL.
Yes, I am happy that my XH was nice to me. He wrote once more with yet another suggestion but I didn't react to it. I want to go dark and not be in constant e-mail contact so he can see how life is without me. I would also like to see how long it will take him to contact me. He will surely write again if he needs something.
Hi Vali,
It is lovely to hear from you.
I had quite a nice week so far. On Thursday I went to a live concert with my GF which we enjoyed. Then on Friday I had TWO dates. In the morning I finally met a guy I wanted to meet for some time. He is quite nice BUT he told me that he is unhappily married but not for much longer, i.e. it sounded as if his wife was in MLC and/or rejecting him, and that they live together only because of the kids. - It all sounded so familiar to me: The love of his life is rejecting him. - It made me so sad but I didn't show it. I would like to write a letter to his wife telling her what I experienced and that she should rather work at their marriage than throw it all away! - But who knows if it is true. I learnt not always to believe what men tell you – sad but true. I only met him briefly since he was busy and I have no clue if or when I will see him again.
Then I met another guy in the evening. We have the same interests. That's why we decided to meet. He sent me a picture and I thought he would be a few years younger than I but he didn't want to tell me his age which I found strange. So when I actually saw him I got such a shock since he was so baby-faced. He is about 15 years younger than I and also looks younger than he actually is! I felt really silly walking in the street with such a young guy. Although he was very nice and interesting to talk to, I told him that I couldn’t imagine having an R with somebody so much younger.
The awful thing was that yesterday I was so nervous to meet these guys. I have no clue why. And when I got home I felt terrible and depressed. I keep thinking that I never appreciated what I had, took it all for granted and didn't nurture my R with XH. I would have to have so many different men in order to find all the traits my XH HAD pre MLC. He was so versatile and we had so much in common and thought alike in almost every way.
My GF told me that I would have to adjust to the people who "are on the market" if I ever wanted another R. I find that so difficult. I kept thinking that I am better off by myself and detached.
I also have no wish to do some work in the house. I seem to have a mess everywhere which I really don't like. But somehow I cannot pull myself together to finally clear it all up and do some cleaning. The only thing I did was working in the garden. At least I did some clearing up today but never as much as I would have liked to. It will also have to be one thing at the time just like one step at the time!
Tonight I was supposed to go to some festivities on the water front but we had bad thunder storms and hail again and it cooled right down. So I stayed at home. I hope that the weather will be better tomorrow as I would really like to go.
