Hopeful: Yes, i have done damage control, last night I apologized for behaving the way I had and explained very clearly that I was angry, I also aknowledged the fact that I have been all over the map lately. But honestly what do they expect from us? The crap we're going through is mentally exhausting and would take a toll on the strongest person.
We unlike you do not go to MC anymore, a week ago thurs she decided that she had nothing left to give so I guess the kitchen's closed.
All my W tells me now is that she has nothing to give and says she will not work on R anymore. She did however say she was still willing to talk to my DB coach, so I guess that's encouraging right?
This morning before I left to go to work we had a conversation where I told her that her negative feelings about the R and the doubt about the changes I've made were nothing more than satan induced ideas. I'm no bible thumper by any means, my W has always been the religious one in our family.Because of my shift work we always attended church every other week, but now we haven't been in about 3 months, since this all began. But over the years she has taught me many things about spirituality and God and I have grown to embrace these ideas.
The conversations we have had in the past were several times centered around Marriage,relationships and the whole concept of negative thought processes and how they get there. She was always the one preaching these things to me... And now she refuses to admit that they apply to us.
The amazing thing to me is how whenever I happen to be in a particularly dark place as soon as I think about God and actually consciously pray about it I immediately feel much better.
_________________________ Me 42, Her 34 M 3yrs, T 8yrs D 5 S 3 S 2 ILYBINILWY 02/09 Sleeping in same bed/no intimacy "I,m done" her words: 05/28/09 She moves out end of Sept/09 till then "in limbo"
