John, Although you do not have enough proof for her CC to punish her you do have enough proof to go to your CC and as a minimum he can chat with the major and if needed the major's CC and have a no contact order imposed...to be most effective you should consider this today...before she has time to spin her tales at work about you being abusive, etc.
Again, if you want to try to save this marriage you must first expose and end the affair.
Although I am VERY pro-marriage your W has stepped over the line in regards to her obligations to you, daughter, and the USAF. She has compromised her morals to the level that I wonder why you would consider staying with her although I do know that love is blind and it hurts. They say the one who loves the least controls the relationship...she is controlling you and stopping you from any type of action because you are afraid she will leave/divorce you...
With everything you have the only thing I see left is who will pay for the divorce...if you can get her to pay then it is to your advantage to file...see your lawyer.
As always, take care of your daughter, find something to do, no fighting, no arguing, always act as if your conversations are being recorded and your emails are going to her lawyer.
Have you done the things you need to do to separate yourself from her? Packed up her stuff, removed pictures, etc...and no drinking...you need to always be there for your daughter. This will end...
Please do NOT respond to her -- ESPECIALLY if it's in writing (e-mail or text message) -- without checking with us first.
This is your moment of maximum leverage. You have her backed into a corner, she's going to get with OM immediately (I'm sure she called him within FIVE SECONDS of getting off the phone with you), and they are going to plan their strategy. You can be 100% assured that what she says (or does) to you next will be a part of this strategy -- THEIR strategy -- and not any true remorse or contrition on her part.
Not sure if you've ever wrestled, but you just got two points for a reversal. YOU ARE ON TOP NOW, and in control.
I'm sure she called him within FIVE SECONDS of getting off the phone with you), and they are going to plan their strategy.
Or rolled over and talked to him.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Thanks everyone for your responses. I actually slept pretty well last night and feel good about the phone call. Went to a retirement ceremony today and got approached several times by a very pretty 26 year old. Wow. I think I'm going to be fine either way. Starting to regain some confidence. I had to stop myself from asking her out as I am still married and have morals.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
I know this is hard. Believe me! Anyone who has dealt with infidelity can attest to this. That is why it's CRUCIAL that you STOP focusing on HER and FOCUS on YOU. No matter what the justification no one DESERVES to be treated like this. You deserve better. You deserve RESPECT! Fight for your RESPECT. You handled that call great. Now hold your ground. Like PDT said. A storm is coming!!!
Well, she hasn't tried to talk to me at all. She called my daughter yesterday and apologized to her. That's good but she did not want to talk w/ me at all. I wonder what she's thinking.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
The wife just called and asked if I wanted to go with her and D to see a movie and hang out. I said, that's ok, I've got stuff to do. She said, well, I just don't want you to have to hang out there by yourself and be bored. Yeah, ok, whatever.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
