Then she closes her email with "Thanks. I hope you are doing well."
It's a remark like that that makes me second guess myself. If this is an MLC, she shouldn't give a rat's @$$ whether I'm doing well or not, right?
This is like Sincerely or Regards at the end of an email for you....... Don't make anything of it, it's guilt lingo.
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WHY IS SHE EVEN ASKING? WHY NOT JUST COME IN AND F#*KING TAKE IT WHEN I'M NOT HOME LIKE YOU DO ANYWAY?
Because maybe she is testing to see if you notice her coming in. She was trying to see if you would say something like, why not just take it when you are in my house........
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I am so tired. I am tired of second guessing myself. Tired of feeling like I'm getting on my feet emotionally, only to have something like this prove me wrong. I just don't want to see her. It hurts. I'm so tired of thinking about this. I'm tired of dreaming about her. I'm tired of living in fear and pain. Why can't I just f-ing move past this?
Well, I understand why you are tired. We all get tired. Now you are the only one who can change this bud. You can't move past it because when you work on "getting on your feet emotionally" it does not mean ignoring your feelings and thoughts and hoping they just go away. It's not as simple as just hoping she doesn't contact you or you don't have to talk to her.
Jimbo, this contact wasn't as bad as you think. It's not always a puzzle that you have to piece together. Sometimes you just read and respond. You don't always have to analyze her every move, besides 99% of the time you will guess wrong......
