Newly separated...spouse left, 4th thread

[antlers]

Hi Astimegoeson.

This 'limbo existence' sucks big time. You just don't know! If you're still committed, you can't move on without them, or at least without taking them into consideration...and at the same time, you don't know if there will ever be a reconciliation or not!

I'm working at GAL. Playing this co-ed softball is a lot of fun for me...I wish I had been doing it all along! I'm doing lots of physical activity...exercising by riding my bicycle, jumping rope, lifting a few weights, and working on my abs. Also I've been doing lots of work in my yard and flower beds. I have our kids though on every single one of my days off...so I've been doing lots of stuff with them. We'll be taking a pretty big vacation in a couple of weeks.

I think I've made some progress on that end. I have a hard job, and I'm pretty spent when I come in from work. I try to stay busy though when I'm alone, and even when the kids are here. I'm in pretty darn good shape right now. I don't really have any anger anymore...the book that Bridgestone recommended to me, 'Love Without Hurt', has been a Godsend for me. I've really taken that info. to heart, and have learned why I acted like such a mean prick in the past. I'm truly remorseful for it. I'm a lot better now, as far as my negative and painful feelings go, than I was a couple of months ago.

There are always others who have it worse than we do, and they survive and go on to live happy lives despite their painful experiences. If others can do it, than we can do it to. I think you've gotta want to though! I remain hopeful for our future, as bleak as it seems. Kind feel like my life is on hold right now, as far as intimate relationships go...don't really like it this way.

To paraphrase another poster on this board..."a reconciliation won't happen unless you put the work in yourself, take the pressure off of your spouse, and put some time and distance between the two of you. Then, it's possible."

Is that good advice...or what?