That is a phenomenal, phenomenal post. I know Smiley's thread gets lots of traffic, so I hope many will read that and really consider it.
I love the "not attractive" thing, and I think it can be used by both sexes in a lot of different contexts. It works with men VERY well, when for example they're being whiny or even when one is lying to you, for the woman to say "Please stop doing that -- it's very unattractive." Even spouses who purport to be running away from you and the marriage as fast as they can, will stop in their tracks when you tell them that what they're doing "isn't attractive."
