Traveldane... I am sorry you find yourself here and in this sitch. It is so hard and painful. Everytime I think I have it bad, I just remember that there are people like you who are dealing with this too, and under different circumstances it might be harder. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby.
My H left me and although the sitch's are different, I can really relate to the shock and disbelief you have gone thru. I knew we were up and down, but I NEVER thought he woul leave me. Never. I would have never left him. We get along, have 2 beautiful daughters, he is ALWAYS so proud of us all, and we definately get each others sense of humor. I think he is hilarious and we love(d) to joke around! So...that being said, I relate.
I am also dealing with stay v. go because my lease is almost up and I wanted to move home to be with family and friends back there...my support system. I have changed my mind, but let me just say that it is NOT to continue my DBing, as I believe you can do that from anywhere. It is not in hopes of reconciling. (although I am not giving up on that idea!!) It is because I have built a life for myself here and until I decide that I want to change that as well, I am staying put. Do what you thik will benefit you the most...and if you can take the time, do it. You don't need to decide right away.
As for the contact...I liked the idea about missing the dog. Some carefully planned out communication just so you can DB and show him what he is missing. I know when I have seen H and DBed...looking super hot, and acting happy and mysterious...I started noticing some reaction. I hope this is good advice, since I am not really in a place to give it out, but itis mostly based on what I have read in DR and what I have read here. The book actually says that if what you are doing isn't working (going dark) than try a new approach. Or inject a new approach along with going mostly dark. If you notice any reaction...do it again in a timely manner and if not, abort mission.
