As a small side note, I met her briefly at the grocery store this evening so she could say hi to the kids, as she agreed to let me keep them longer than usual due to my parents being here. She didn't say hi to me, and she would barely look me in the eye. There's the pullback I've been expecting!
Hi Future...I have been reading your thread tonight, and I just wanted to offer my support You seem like you are doing extremely well, and I see/feel alot of myself in you especially re: your "gut" feeling that you should be fighting for your marriage. And that you know in your heart that a connection is still there. I don't know, maybe everyone here feels this way...but even though the low parts of the rollercoaster do a number on my confidence in this, the high points make me believe that there is no way my H can't be feeling the same thing. Anyway I got a post from AliveandKicking in regards to something I said about wondering why my H was doing this to me...and me wondering why I was such a "bad" person to be around, (feeling little confidence right now can you tell??!), etc. I thought it was appropriate to interject here with your sitch and when I read that she didn't look at you and pulled back when you met her at the grocery store..alive and kicking wrote this to me....
"You are not bad to be around, he can't differentiate and define himself with you...he only knows how to be the version of him that was married to you when you're around. Now, he wants to be someone else in a way...or is at least exploring. It is an identity crisis of sorts."
I just thought this made alot of sense and it applies here IMO. She wants to feel that fire with you OUTSIDE of your marriage, hence the date over wings. Do you think she didn't plan that scenario out?? She knows you go there, she knows you love those wings and she called you. It was secretive, exciting, and it made her feel good...Once the kids are there, it is the version of you both that she is trying to avoid, for whatever reason. Interesting, and worth exploring more, I think. Is it possible that at some point, these things can be bridged together? And that if you keep doing what is working...and let it take the time it needs to, that it will NATURALLY bridge itself?
Just a thought and I wanted to say that I think you are on the right track...no matter the outcome! You seem like a great guy!
You seem like you are doing extremely well, and I see/feel alot of myself in you especially re: your "gut" feeling that you should be fighting for your marriage. And that you know in your heart that a connection is still there. I don't know, maybe everyone here feels this way...but even though the low parts of the rollercoaster do a number on my confidence in this, the high points make me believe that there is no way my H can't be feeling the same thing. Anyway I got a post from AliveandKicking in regards to something I said about wondering why my H was doing this to me...and me wondering why I was such a "bad" person to be around, (feeling little confidence right now can you tell??!), etc. I thought it was appropriate to interject here with your sitch and when I read that she didn't look at you and pulled back when you met her at the grocery store..alive and kicking wrote this to me....