Divorce looming #14

[25yearsmlc]

Don't know where to start. The conversation about d7 and the pathetic image you projected, how "happy" you were b/c w missed the filing deadline. Gee Kevin, do you think she wants back in now? Um I"m guessing... NO...

So you were "going to DB hardcore" & that lasted about an hour I'm guessing. Kev, how can you not understand how you fundamentally have it so wrong in your approach after all this help?

On one hand, so many people see you as the extreme form of bad dbing that THEY learn what NOT to do. (So there's a positive to this site). But I feel as if I'm watching a slow car wreck that keeps banging into a wall and straightens itself briefly, only to speed up and crash again WHILE ignoring ALL the STOP SIGNS & BLINKING LIGHTS along the way...

I have no idea why she missed the deadline but if I were a betting woman, it is 99% likely that she missed the deadline for either no reason, or a reason that has NOTHING to do with reconciling. True, Might have bought you "legal" time, but so far that Opportunity to show her something, has only enabled you to worsen things and INVITE HER TO DINNER after the post I wrote to you last week about not inviting her, I am pretty sure you are not reading these posts or you have some sort of learning disability. I mean if you are going to totally ignore what ALL of us say, why not explain why? B/C there is no explanation? B/C YOU FORGOT what we said? I mean which is it? Do you give a cr^& about what we write here or do you just get so needy and weak that you bang your head into the wall again. Oh, and um, so much for the "hardcore dbing" you were going to do b/c God answered your prayers. You know, maybe God did answer that prayer and maybe he gave you a chance and so, in ONE day, you blew it again.

Kev, It's a weird pattern for you to come here and tell us something idiotic that you did, and then I can only assume you want us to somehow lift you up afterwards...but you repeat this behavior SO OFTEN it's clear that lifting you up is something that does not teach you to avoid the idiotic things in the first place. And you hide the "REAL" stuff you did in the past or that just happened (TUES??) and you are deliberatly misleading about how you are with your w and kids...or the c or the legal sitch, and let your fears steer all you do, and you do not, will not, cannot understand the underlying THEME of our posts.

For you to talk about how to be interesting to your wife, at this point, and not see how sick and stupid that looks to us, well, it's sick AND/OR stupid of you.

A&K said if you want to be interesting, then "Be interested" yeah as in, interested in something OTHER THAN YOUR W! And the host of other red flags that statement raises for us...like why you'd STILL care about her opinion and not "GET" that this NOT ABOUT HER. It is ALL about you living your own life, GAL, BEING INTERESTING b/c you are happy and have hobbies and interests and are content and pleasant and NOT needy and have opinions and thoughts and people in your lives other than w and d's, and NOT letting HER determine how you feel/act all the time. ((How many times Have I said this and how many colors and fonts are there to use to get through to you...????))

Honestly, I fear for your mental well being when I read your posts. But for that, I'd just out and out quit posting to you. You need help. We are not enough, by a long shot. Get some real help and stop making excuses for not getting it. As far as I'm concerned your W and M are both lost causes with you being as sick as you sound, so I dont' care if you refuse to get free care, & ask her to pay for it. B/C it really comes down to you getting well. I don't give a cr%^ about your M anymore b/c as I said, I have come to believe you have deeply rooted problems that NO healthy Woman will want to be a part of. You are not really helping your d's much b/c you use them to manipulate your w...or as your back up emotional supports so THEY can comfort YOU....and THEY can give YOU strength, and that is not what a father is for...wow..don't make them your social life support system and replace your dependence on your w into dep on them. They'll grow up soon and have their own lives and what will you have then? Without getting real help and changing....it's not a pretty picture.
So until if and when you get some REAL help, from a professional somewhere, somehow, you won't be GAL, or your M back and I just hope you can keep the job going while you spin your wheels... we're coming on into the summer when the girls will be off so ... you'll use your "alone/lonely" time to fill EITHER GAL, or continue to fill it with things YOU actually SEE as "Filler time" between when you'll see your w and d's again. That's NOT GAL. And you still are not bringing anything to the table for your w, so of course she is not interested...

Enough said.

Good luck, Kev, hope you get the help you need. Don't hurt yourself anymore than you already have, and pray, and get c, take the meds as prescribed and re-read these posts OR the 10 books that have been suggested to you here. Try to not repeat the same sick dependent mistakes a part of you already knows you should not do. Listen to that small part of you that desparately wants to live a healthy life, with or without her.The part of you that is brave enough to change, that wants to get well.


j-