Newcomer requesting advice

[traveldane]

the idea about moving was intially to be closer to my family, as they are a great support (parents, two sisters, a brother, and 2 or 3 close friends) and also to be in a new environment to help with the GAL effort.

But now I am definitely on the fence about if it was the right decision. He doesn't know that I am making the move, only that it is a possibility and does not seem to care.

Regarding the memorial site for our lost baby, my H's cousin/best friend planted a tree for us on his farm property. Last summer we burried the baby's remains there together. Since this all happened, I have back to stay with his cousin and his wife (our best friends) but my H has not. He has shut them out of his life and pusposefully plays phone tag to avoid dealing with his cousin. I doubt he would agree to visiting the tree memorial any time soon. He openly admits that he has not dealt with the baby loss, but is only self pittying about it, no changes made. Though he is persisting with counseling. So who knows.

Regarding bills, he pays for his own apartment, etc now, and contributes monthly to our joint debts. Other than the remaining joint debts our finances are basically seperate now, which is actually a good thing because he himself identified that he needed to learn to be responsible for such things, instead of relying on me. I have let go of that role, except to make sure that he transfers money for the payments, since those debts have my name on them. I always have to bring it up though. He does not initate still.

Right now I am getting a bit of R&R and am planing to return back to home city next weekend. Will need to make final decision about move/not move. Wondering if I should try to see him at that time or not. Wondering if he has actually pursued filing the divorce.

thanks sutck and WCW, I really appreciate your input.