I can't either, I don't think she has any angles. Angles make sense and are rational.
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Does she think that I'm not going to give her her stuff without some sort of "exchange", as she puts it?
Very firmiliar with "terms" like these....very. For lack of a better word It's impersonal, or less close, more business like... hell I don't know what word to use to describe it, but I hear the same old blah blah blah too. Just words from someone who will do and say whatever to try to distance themselves and not feel and deal with what she needs to.
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Then she closes her email with "Thanks. I hope you are doing well."
It's a remark like that that makes me second guess myself. If this is an MLC, she shouldn't give a rat's @$$ whether I'm doing well or not, right?
Jimbo?? C'mon now. Are you telling me one sentence in an email is going to cause you question all this. How many other signs are you forgetting right now? AND btw My mlc'er opens her emails with the EXACT same phrase often.
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I am so tired. I am tired of second guessing myself. Tired of feeling like I'm getting on my feet emotionally, only to have something like this prove me wrong. I just don't want to see her. It hurts. I'm so tired of thinking about this. I'm tired of dreaming about her. I'm tired of living in fear and pain. Why can't I just f-ing move past this?
What's going on here?? Jimbo the journey is not unlike the mlc'ers in some ways. It's very cyclical. I have been having a rough way to go too lately. I noticed a patteren a while back and Mach called it too. Something needs to change, perspective, actions, whatever it may be something needs to change.
The pattern that seems to take place with me is, when I am down, questioning, confused or angry it means soon I"ll be moving ahead, working through my emotions or processing all of this. When you get through this and you will, you will be in a stronger, more peaceful place and the picture becomes even more clear.
