Beating yourself up isn't going to help. Obviously, you want to defend yourself and then you melt and get all wimpy and want to just make nice.
Why don't you make a commitment? If you're going to confront on any topic with W, just stick to one, make your point and move on. No fixing and making nice.
I thought you showed some balls in some of your interaction. And then the dinner thing!!!!! Aaargh. But, it is clear as day what your MO is. If you are going to take a stand, take it, stick to the point and move on. Get it? Let her dislike you, that is a step up from pity.
