Recovering from infidelity. 10 months later

[dgtal]

10 months later I STILL HAVE CONCERNS
I had read 6 different books including Michele's d_busting. We never went to counseling. We watched the movie Fireproof together. I read the book from that movie. We are making love 2-3 times a week, we take showers together very often, we sleep together and hug while we are slept. Kisses now last longer (5 seconds). Everything looks back to normal. We took a cruise vacation together. We also went to Curacao together and had a fantastic second honeymoon. I will give myself a qualification of 7.5 out of 10. I love my wife like never before. She is my Queen and she is the one in command. She deserve the best and I'm giving her the best. I'm treating our 18 yo daughter like a princess . Everything had changed in our home even the furnitures.

Back in August 9, 2008 I discovered 100's of phone calls made from my wife cellular to the manager of the PX supermarket were she used to purchase our groceries. I entered this forum and starting reading and reading and reading desperate to save my marriage after my wife asked me for divorce the day after the discovery. I extracted everything from 6 different books since not everything applied to our case. I did my investigative work with not too good results. I stoped "interrogating" my wife since she was planning to fleet. We had a mix of miserable and wonderful days together after that.

10 months later I continue with the investigation and guess what...I found out that I was chasing the wrong OM and I called the "wrong" OMW back in October last year...(sh#!@). I was close but it wasn't enough.

Back in Febrary I discovered in her night table a note and a heart with her name and the OM name printed. Also a note declaring her love for him. I showed her what I saw and that was a 4 hours nightmare for both, but them we went to sleep together like nothing happed. Well after receiving from her a divorce treating I cooled down. I'm learning like a dog, if I mention anything about her affair she hit me right in my head with the stick (treat of divorcing)

10 months later, today. I know exactly who is the OM. I know the name of the OMW. They never had children together but they are living with the OMW's son from a previous marriage. This is also the OM second marriage. I told my wife from the begining that she was dealing with a married man. She didn't believed me. She said the OM told her he was divorced and that he lived alone in an apartment. Guess what...they live in a house 7 miles from our house and the guy is the manager of a local PX supermarket.

My concern: I haven't prove it yet but I believed they started the telephone convertations after this guy was promoted and transfered from the px supermarket close to our house to a supermarket 20 miles from us in June 2007. I tracked her once Octuber last year after the D day and I was able to confirm this. Now, yesterday I confirmed that this guy was transfered to a PX supermarket closer to our house. My wife is totally unaware of this situation. I entered the supermarket and I saw his picture hanging on the wall "store manager". My concern is: my wife sometimes goes to this supermarket. If she discover the guy is there something may happen. So far she hasn't promise me she will not see this guy again. I'm confuse and paddling the boat at the same direction and speed she is doing it. Everything looks so far so good but this guy has an appeal to her and I affraid something will happen. I don't know if should go to his working place and warn this guy about what could happens if I discover another affair with my wife, or maybe I should treat him to let his wife know everuthing about his affair with my wife. That could start another problem that I can not afford at this point. I feel like I want to "revenge" all the miserable days this guy made me go through but at the same time I realize that if my wife knows that I'm following this guy she may be not too happy. I also discovered that this guy launch his boat at the same marina we launch our boat.

After 10 months of hard work to get to were we are, to a point that it looks like a "permanent" honeymoon. I'm still affraid to blow it. Please somebody help me. I need feedback. For the last 2 days I haven't been able to sleep well again. I'm having dreams about fighting with this guy. Even when I'm awake I feel like going to his place and tell what a piece a Jerk he is. Even I'm thinking about telling his wife. I know that even tho 10 months has passed it isn't enough to cool down. I think if I ever get close this guy I will kick his act or it could even be worse. I still don't know. I feel unconfortable now that I know the OM is around. Need feedback