In-bound, she hears what she wants hear. Has always been that way.
How would you know what she hears?
It's always been that way? Really? Have you read "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. Always is pessimistic thinking it's permanent. That book helped me.
Remember her getting angry is good. Next time she get's POd think OK this is good then ask yourself how do I get to the real reason she is upset. This is the motherlode of connecting. Plan on how you can keep a dialouge going when she is mad (test). Easy way to diffuse someone is to agree with them. "I understand why you might feel I am going for the jugular but that is not my intention. I honestly don't know what the spousal support number should be sounds like a legal questions to me. Maybe it is best we leave this up to the lawyers. This isn't a threat but a solution to a problem we have that is very upsetting for me and it appears to cause you a lot of stress as well."
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whenever the conversation goes any way other than hers, will simply declare, "Well obviously we can't talk about this," get up, and storm out of the room.
Follow her (giving her space) and respond "Why do you feel that way?" Let her unload on you and you take it because it's anger being released. I'm not condoning you get abused here but she needs to let fly and she needs to see you acknowledge her anger, frustration and pain. No negative emotions on your part just compassion and empathy. Agree with her unless she starts to tell you what you think or feel. She feels what she feels and you feel what you feel. If you don't do it she will find someone else who will. This is one of those unwritten tests that men are clueless about when dealing with their women. If you get nothing else out of this remember her anger means she is attached. She is a pressure cooker and you need to help her release some pressure before she explodes. The move out date is approaching, there are legal issues, financial issues, the kids, all of this is pressure. Lead. You can handle it. Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
