WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

BTW just to let you know where I am coming from. As I have said before I have been going through the same issue as you (wife felt neglected and unloved among other issues) for over two years. I think I have tried a lot of different approaches, not all but allot.

Now that I feel detached, really detached, and she sees it, I feel that she is actually starting to pursue a little, and its only been a few weeks!!

We got into a pretty bad fight the other day and not once did I hear the D word. She knows I don’t care anymore about D anymore, she cant use that card.

Years of nothing, well some half hearted trying on her part but not like what I am seeing now.

Going to keep it up….strange saying that, because I don’t need to keep anything up nor do I need do anything. Because I am…….I am detached naturally… feel’s pretty cool actually …

You know what's interesting to note, when I was more Dark/Dim, even though she complained about how cold/mean I was, she called/text/emailed me almost everyday. It was mostly tactical stuff related to the kids, but the calls were usually chit chat type stuff with a few very emotional calls.

This week (Mon - Weds) I tried the approach of being friendly when she calls (before I would be very short and not say much) where I would ask how she was doing and stuff like that. Weds nite was the last time she called. I was supportive, friendly and caring during her call (she was complaining about how the kids were behaving at her place). I did suggest it may be related to the situation, but she didn't agree at all (big surprise). That was the last time I heard from her. Now many will say not hearing from a WAW in 1.5 days is not a big deal, but it's significant to me since we've had contact almost every day since she moved out.

I'm sure that is a big reason why she hadn't missed me.

Now I'm back to Dark/Dim, so I'm not calling (I didn't call Mon - Weds, she still initiated contact). I'll let her initiate it, even though she has told me a few times over the last 2 weeks, that if I want to call her, I should. She said if I had something on my mind, I should just call her.

Very confusing, but I'm not calling. Maybe this is childish or resentful, but it feels like the right thing to do considering how after I tried being friendly on the calls this week, she stopped. Coincidence? Don't know.

Sigh. Going on week 7 since she left.