Long ago I realized that what I posted to others was meant for me. If something twings inside, I ask even if I feel nervous or stupid. There's always some type of message.
Here's my splatter of thoughts:
Consider going to Retro before telling the kids. Why? Because it seems like the final litmus test. Fracturing a family with passing mentions of reconciliation seems like cruel and unusual punishment for the kids and all involved.
You're probably cooler and calmer than I am. When we went to tell the kids, I planned on letting my husband say it all. The minute I saw the looks on their faces I died inside.. and would have promised the world and a puppy to make their pain go away. My jumping in to assuage their pain let him off the hook of having to say anything. At the time I didn't realize he was already divorced in his mind and onto another life. He felt like the conversation went well. "Don't you realize we ripped a hole in their hearts that will never be healed?" was my reply. At that point I felt like DB, giving space.. everything I'd done was worth sh*t... how could I have agreed to any of this??? T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E..........
About your wife's firking about paying support... well it's all fun and games til the tab comes due. And most people change when it gets down to financials.
I wrote more about the laughter and hiding emotions on my thread if you're interested.
You're an intelligent guy who protects his kids, is aware of how to make things work and are patient. I'm rooting for you.
