GETTING UN'STUCK'

[MrBond]

"If using your term makes you feel more comfortable, continue using it. Mid life crisis/mid life transition... same thing."

It's what the experts with phDs call it not me. Transition - life shift. Crisis - life sh*t

"When you say you did things that were exciting & adventurous, was that from your point of view only? Was she bored or uninterested because she didn't get to offer input? I know you say you asked her what she wanted to do but was this always the case especially in the beginning? Or I'll twist this around even more, did you always ask for input from her originally in the beginning and never took the lead & initiative in this process and possibly that's why she doesn't care of seem invested?"

They were from her POV too. She's the type that never wanted to try new things, so when I would take her out, it would always be different and even if she was hesitant about it, she'd find out she'd love it after.

In the beginning, I would choose an activity and ask if it was okay with her, basically to gage her comfort level with it. After we got M, sometimes I would get her input, most of the time I would just lead and not ask. It was more because she didn't have any input. She doesn't like taking risks.

Ah yes, the classic stages of midlife. I've already evaluated these before and right now she's between 2 and 3. There was a period last year where she wanted to get a boob job, go to the gym, go out with friends, etc. This is how those things went.

Breasts - She went to a consult for her boob job, but claimed that I had made a comment while watching "Deal Or No Deal" about the models' breasts and that put her off. Still don't know what I said and she says she doesn't remember.

Gym - She has had a membership for over a year and only went once for a personal training that she signed up for. Before she went, as a suggestion, I mentioned to her that she should eat a little something and drink water before going. Of course she ignored. She met with the trainer, he had her do a few exercises. She got sick, threw up in the bathroom after 30 minutes and went home. The training was supposed to be for 4 sessions. That training was 3 months ago and she's never gone back. When I asked her if she wanted me to watch the kids so she could go to the gym to finish her training (since we paid for it) she snapped and said she would just go to one of the classes and that she didn't need training.

Friends - While separated for 6 months, she went out with her friends 3 times. Just hanging out at her friends' houses from work. Most of the time she stayed home even on the weekends when I had the girls. I know this because (my bad at the time) I would swing by the place where she lived to see if there was another car. There wasn't.

So right now she is depressed when she's around me and I don't engage her. I stay as optimistic and happy as possible around her and the kids. When we're in bed with the kids, she'll start opening up a little and start talking to me very friendly like how we were before. Then morning comes around and she's shut off again. Weird.

So what do you think?