Yes, meaning?? Are you talking about me or her? Or you? Or him?? LOL
Game was pretty much torturous. I was pissed at him for the moving nonsense and he had a sullen ugly attitude. I flat out told him what I would think of him if he cut and run from his kids.
got a text later that said he was not going to move, was going to move in with his mom and try to fix himself. Said he loved me... and how can we get back together.
I just told him to concentrait on fixing himself b/c that and his kids are his top priority.
I feel like I'm walking a slippery slope here. Give him no hope = he runs away. Giving him false hope= dishonest and shameful.
Feel like I'm on a tightrope of sorts, trying to balance him and my kids.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Hey SO, dont let Mach rattle you, he's really a pussycat (but he wouldnt want that to get around) LOL! He is just trying to get you to think about things.
When you set a boundary, you have to be ready to back it up or your h is going to continue to skip across it as he has been.
I have often said, dbing is about having the best chance to be the person we want to be and to have the life we want to have.
So, you have to look inside yourself and figure out the changes you want to make and then work towards them.
You should not worry about whether giving false hope or pulling way back is going to force your h away from his children.
You need to live your life, be the best mom you could be, GAL, and continue to change and grow. His stuff is his stuff. I know that you are worried about his involvement with your children, and believe me, I understand it completely. But you cannot choose actions based on what you think his reactions will be.
I often go back to the basic db rules.
Dont go down cheeseless tunnels. When in doubt about a course of action, go back to a beginners mind. Re-assess and change your actions accordingly. Know what you want and be clear about it. Keep a positive mental attitude.
I really think you need to stop the texting and calling between you unless it has to do with the childrenn otherwise you continue to feed into his nonsense.
Yeah. I have decided to go that route. (not talking unless it's about the kids). I was up last night late talking to a friend and he started calling and texting me. I never looked or checked the texts. Could just hear the beeping.
Well, get this. When I got off the phone a long time later, he had called me 30 times in a row and sent like 6 texts. One of the texts said: M, you need to put the bar on the back door and turn off (S) lights. And who are you talking to? Ummm, okay. So he is appearantly sitting outside my apartment at some point. That gave me the weirdest feeling ever. I immediately ran downstairs to check that everything was locked. He was right, the sliding door was locked, but the extra bar lock was not on it. Okay, this scared me.
Fast forward to this morning. He is texting me and I'm not responding. Probably sent 20 texts. One of them says this: Hey, one night I can come visit you in your bedroom if your window is not locked. lol All I have to do is climb up on the patio cover and let myself in. Okay, that majorly freaked me out. I broke down and sent back that he better not plan on sneaking in my window unless he wants to take a chance on getting pepper sprayed.
Okay, is anyone feeling unhealthy obsession here besides me? That thing last night gave me a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. My friend thinks I may need a restaining order.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Ok SO, this is not good. Always pay attention to the feeling in your stomach. I think you might want to go down to the police station and just talk to them. You dont have to file for a restraining order, but you might want to start to get some of this on record. If you feel in danger or threatened, then a restraining order might be necessary.
There are certain criteria that have to be met in order to obtain a restraining order (I unfortunately had to go with a friend who needed one).
Knowledge is power. Go talk to someone. And please do not answer his texts particularly with a threat.
Now I am really concerned. Please let me know what happens.
I am quite concerned myself. Yes, the feeling I had was really bad. I mean, that's just flat out creepy. Nobody wants to think the father of their children might be getting kind of psycho, but one also does not want to ignore things that could be red flags... That's why I asked my friend and threw it out here. You guys are on the outside looking in. I'm stuck in the middle of the trees in the forrest, as Mach would say.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
