Fire's burning out...just smoldering

[blindsided1]

2 X 4's are needed.

Okay, H just called me at work. He called to ask me when the D papers are going to be filed. I told him that I would be doing it on my day off probably the 18th. The he said, "Are you going to be home tomorrow night?" I said "Of course, you're bringing K home at 6pm, right?" And, he said, "Yes, but I didn't know if you wanted me to bring her home or take her to your brothers." I said "No, bring her home. Why don't you want to bring her home?" He said, "Yes, I do. I was just asking. So, you wanna have some fun tomorrow night?"

I don't even know what to say anymore. I said, "H, could you be any more insensitive? You call me at work to talk about the D. Then you ask me to have sex with you." He says "So, how is that insensitive?" Is this guy delussional? Seriously? Can anyone be this ridiculously clueless? So, then he says "Well, you wanna?" I said "No. You're with someone else and when you do this, it makes it difficult for me to not be confused and it makes it hard for me to move on." To which he replied "Fine. Whatever."

Okay, so why is it so hard for me to just say "No. F off."? I feel like he is going to get mad at me or stop wanting me or what? What is it? I logically know that it's not that he wants ME. He just wants someone to have sex with. I don't feel any warmth from him, when we are together. Occassionally, there will be a small little spark. Like he'll get really close and I think, for a split second, that he is going to kiss me. But, he doesn't. That's fine. But, it is weird. I just don't know exactly how to behave when he comes on to me that way.

I mistakenly think, sometimes, that his interest in me means he still cares and loves me. But, logically, I know this is not the case. I don't think he knows how to love anyone, really. Then I start to speculate that maybe there is trouble in paradise. But, this can't be the case because he has been doing this since he walked out on me. In the beginning, I indulged it. I regret that. Because I feel it set in his mind that I was willing to be second best. I AM NOT. Not any longer.

So, anyone have any advice on how to handle his come ons without making him think I am not remotely attracted to him, but to let him know that I will not be his booty call.

I'm fine until he starts playing this game.

"Hey, when will our divorce be final? Wanna F**k?"