I'm a believer. But I have to say, my prayers changed over time. Instead of asking God to help H "see the light" and restore the M, I just prayed for the guidance to know what to do, and the strength to deal with what was going to come, regardless of what way it went. Much like the serenity prayer.
I came to believe that God (or, if you will, "the universe" AK) has good things coming my way, so if that does NOT include H (remember that our spouses have FREE WILL and might not listen to the big guy) then I ahve faith that God has something else cool for me around the corner.
The belief and faith that, "no matter what, I'm okay" is what finally allowed me to truly let go of H or wishing for us to be Maritally restored...and then of course my "plans" for moving forward w/o him shifted again, as H and I are together. So, it happens. (A part of me thought, wth?)
Isn't this really another discussion, in some form, about the serenity prayer and where we are in finding ourselves with it? What can we change? Should we? What can we accept and should we? It may be a life long discussion. (But an easier one with time, PLEASE...)
(( j ))
I am okay with the prospect of DH possibly never coming home. I will be sad, but I will survive and thrive, for my sake and the sake of my kids.
I continue to pray for DH to find his way out of the fog, though, so he does not further lose his relationship with his children. IF that realization brings him home, all the better.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
