1. She's afraid of divorce because "things would get ugly". Assure her they won't (if you haven't already). Yeah, there's likely to be some squabbles but nothing big. Nobody should ever stay in a M because of fear or compulsion. Ever! You're a better human being than that. You only want what's best for you and your wife.
2. "I only wish I had more time to write. More time for my art. More time to train..." Please! Just get on with it. Except for a few independently wealthy trust fund kids we're all busy. People asked where I got the time to train for an Ironman in '06: lunchtimes; after kids went to bed; weekends; just found the hours and did it. I didn't have to turn my life completely upside down - just planned better. I worked with a coach and made every hour count. Nobody at work even knew I was training until three weeks before the event when my W outed me. My billable hours were up during that time and I felt better than ever.
Tell her you will help out and make some sacrifices (within reason) but she's going to have to get a plan and make it happen, and still pull some weight around the house. You're doing this for her and for "us".
She will feel better when she's working towards a goal. My guess is that she's not in love with you because she's not in love with herself. She's down. Needs a goal. Needs direction. As Dr. Phil says (ugghh! I know.. but I'll use his quote just this one time), "A racehorse has got to run." That new life might just work it's way back into the relationship.
3. What time are you leaving on the Century? I'd like to join (but I'm probably hundreds or thousands of miles away).
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
