A lot of times it is the medium. You know that the telephone or in person visits are the wrong medium. Use emails from now on to inform him of important issues about S19. Quite frankly, S19 is a man and should handle his own issues.
I have to take your H's side on this. You left him multiple messages and were trying to guilt him. I would be pissed off at you too and if I had a son that was a man I probably would talk to him as a man - "I wish your mother would leave me alone?".
He wants you to leave him alone as he has a new life. Why cant you understand that?
