You know that I have supported you since you came on the board. I was very proud of how quickly you used the DR techniques and seem to grasp hold of your stitch and move. I even recommended your thread to some other men who were having a tough time b/c I thought you could inspire them by your own experience. However, I want to remind you that you are relatively still new and please be careful what you say. So many others are reading these posts that we are not aware of them being around b/c they don't say anything......but they are reading. I had agreed basically with your posts to Stuck until that last one. I was shocked at what you said. I was also disappointed. Maybe you intended it a differernt way or maybe I was the one who read it incorrectly.
I can understand a spouse being boring,"lifeless", or draining to the R....to the point that the other one is ready to "walk out" after years and years of working hard to give the MR some "fire". (I could write a book based on my own experiences in my M regarding the same problem.) However, based on one's standards, it does not make it the "right" thing to do or to "excuse" a S or D. But, I do "understand" a person walking away from a R like that.
I cannot point a finger even at a boring, lifeless spouse and say they are to blame for the other one entering a MLC. Even though the signs of a WAS and that of MLC are similar, they are two different areas or "conditions" altogether. If you ever experience a MLC (God forbid), then you will get first-hand knowledge of how bad it is and that it most certainly NOT A GOOD THING.......EVER! I hope you think about this, Rob, and please never tell another LBS that they were too boring and their spouse wanted more excitement than they were getting in the M is why they are where they are now. On one hand, I want to see what you are trying to say (I think), but I am concerned that it could be interpreted very wrong.
This is the first post of yours that I have run across in a while, during my board postings, and certainly one where I disagreed so strongly. I am hoping it was just an "off" day for you and that you will rethink this line of advice.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
