It's Complicated! Part 6

[glamgirl]

Update:

Well I have been super busy, on a personal level and with work. First my work, has gotten busier and busier to the point I don't even like what I do, but it's a job. I am looking aggressively for work just not that much out there or not willing to take less pay since the job is not that bad, just don't want to stay there too much longer. If that makes sense.

Personally, D5 has returned. She was so happy to return. So excited to be home with the family. H came over spent time with his mom and dad. We do appreciate the help they gave us with D5. I have called her pre-school and re-enrolled her for July and August, but 2 days a week. H and S20 will help with the rest.

On a small level h is re-connecting with his mom and dad. Remember he was on NO speaking terms the past year and a half or more. His brother called to talk with him, I proceeded to hand h the phone and he said tell him I am in the shower. That was a bit shocking, but who knows what goes through h's mind. I guess he is not ready to fully commit to his family.

H and I have been getting a long fine. Yes, I am dissappointed and sad that he has made NO progress to move home. Even with our financial struggles, he doesn't seem to get the bigger picture, that IF he would move home we would have more money for our kids and our family rather than having to pay 2 residences. This always floors me. He talks about money and sacrificing, I guess that just doesn't mean him doing the sacrificing.

Dawn you are right, stop focusing on him returning. It's just that going on 3 years in August pains me. Wondering if I am wasting my time or if he is ever going to understand marriage, family, committment the way our vows were intended. H talks of the for worse part, but that was never intended for him to leave and live else where while his family continues to live and struggle in our home. The worse part for me, means you live in the home and you work through your struggles. To me leaving was abandoning me and his family. I know my h doesn't view this the same way I do, but my h is going to have to wake up here. He can't continue to live else where and expect us to continue to be married. I wonder what he would expect from me, if I walked out on him and got my own place?

Thanks Snodderly. I do need to reach deeper for patience.

H will be over today to help with weeding the yard. Yeah! I am not good with weeds and the place is looking like crap on the outside.

Doing my best to focus on the kids and myself and forgetting about what ails my h. He is still at the point of staying up all night ( I think due to his AD medication) and then sleeping all day. He is doing a little better with what he is eating but has not begun is work out routine yet.

Forging on with life..................leaving h do deal with himself.