As a SAHM, I *felt* this statement like a slap on the face:
"Sorry, but you're responsible for the kids during the day so suck it up and write at night"
I can only shower when my kid naps. Meeting a friend for coffee is about the only thing I can do with a toddler, and I'm chasing him all over the coffee shop and trying to keep him from grabbing everything or running out the door. It isn't like my legs are crossed and I'm throwing my head back in laughter because life is just a picnic. It is HARD. And, at the end of the night when he finally goes to sleep, I am wiped out. I save all kinds of projects for the nighttime, but most often I just can't muster the energy to tackle them. I see my H go to work and go to lunch with his buddies. He can actually stand up from his desk, walk outside and buy a sandwich, go look at magazines at the newsstand... I don't have freedom to do such things without lugging a 25 lb wriggling toddler and a giant diaper bag. And then he goes and rehearses sometimes at night... And I'm still here keeping a watchful eye over our son.
Writing is incredibly hard and requires energy and thought and uninterrupted focus. When I have to write for work, I do some during naptime and more late at night. It gets pieced together somehow, but it isn't ideal.
I don't know... I don't think she is going to feel love and support, or understanding of her dilemma if you don't support her on this. I think the only way to "win" is to give her some support.
Taking a step back.... Do you really love her, despite everything that has happened? Do you really want her as your wife? Do you admire her? If you could make this marriage work, would you be proud to have her as your wife?
