If the marriage is over, then there is a proper and dignified way to handle things so that he doesn't don the mask of Creepy Married Guy Who Is In Anguish Over His Existence Of Not Having The Vows Upheld Who Is Now Covertly Seeking Someone External To The Marriage To Give Him An Excuse To Leave The Marriage.
(a) Who said covert?
(b) Who said anything about leaving?
If there's no one INTERNAL to the marriage, the marriage is a legal fiction -- nothing more, nothing less.
I'm not passing judgment. If Thinker or anyone else believes "in marriage" enough to stay "married" even though his/her spouse is, for all intents and purposes, not married, then more power to them. But that's a personal choice to sustain limbo.
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I don't think that flirtations and getting a healthy dose of validation for your battered egos is wrong
(c) Who said it's validation for battered ego? Maybe it's just Moving On.
