I haven't read anymore of your sitch than your last post, but our H's sound identical with the indecision/let us make the decision/blame us if it's the wrong one pattern.
You are very brave to go ahead (and to his face) accept the decision to separate. Good job!!! Sounds like your approach is slowly beginning to bear fruit!
Way to go!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.