So, tonight S9 had a meltdown about how afraid he is of me dying...he "thinks about it everyday." We talked a bit about it and then he told me whimpering that he also misses daddy. He told me that he is so sad that daddy doesn't live here anymore. He asked me why he isn't living here. I suggested again that he talk to H because he doesn't know how he is feeling, that he thinks he likes it better. S9 said he did like that he was getting more time with daddy when he was in town but he has been out of town so long. He asked again why daddy isn't living here. I said that my understanding is that he wanted to have some space because we weren't getting along so well. S9 said through tears, "I didn't think it would be this long." Aaargh. I just held him and said I understood.

Then, he asked me to tell him a story in the sweetest little voice.

So, here's what I came up with (short version).

There once was a porcupine who lived in a village full of pigs. He fell in love with one of the pigs (S laughed) and they decided to live together and make babies (porcupigs). But, the problem was that the porcupine kept poking the pig with his quills and the pig was sad and kept getting angry at the porcupine. So, even though the porcupine loved the pig and the pig loved the porcupine and they both loved their little porcupigs, the porcupine decided it would be best for him to leave and he went to a village full of porcupines. And he would come and visit the porcupigs and sometimes he would bring them with him to the porcupine village (and they fit in fine because they were half porcupine). I asked S what he thinks should happen next, should the porcupine stay away or come back? He thought about it and answered, "he should stay away so he doesn't keep hurting the pig" and then he said "or, he could find a person to cut down his quills so that they don't hurt anymore" and I asked "so he would have to change?" and he said "yes" and I said "and the pig would need to change too, wouldn't she? She would have to be a little stronger and not get upset so easily, right?" Well, he's not an idiot so when I said good night, he asked, "so that story was about us?" And I said "well, it was the closest I could get on the spot." And he seemed comforted and honestly it made sense to me and I think it made sense to him too.