Think about how you would feel if this were the event that first precipitated your coming to this board for support and counsel. While it does sound as though this may be at the level of an emotional affair right now, you may hold out hope that it has gone no further. If this had been the beginning of your crisis, how would you have felt about the issue of whether or not this is a dealbreaker?
Quote:
"What thunder?"
Is it a deal breaker?
I know you can watch threads and users on this site, but I hope you guys know how amazing it is to me that you are always there. Bill, Corey..thanks. Everyone else too, but just so you all know..these 2 guys have been with me since about the first week I got here..over a year ago.
It is a deal breaker....depending on the time of the day, right now.
I know it's time for a heart to heart and for a chance for her to get it all out the open. She needs to know what I know and explain it.
How that is all going to happen is what I am working on in my brain right now and over the next couple of days until she gets home.
Right now I am feeling pretty good, so sane NDS is thinking straight.
Actually, this is basically the same plan whether I am sane NDS or insane, crying NDS.
My plan is to DB...for myself this time. I didn't do that this past year. I changed..for her..and for myself, but she has been first all through this.
That's what I would have done differently if I had just come upon this information and this board....save myself, and if you save the marriage it's a bonus.
My only question now is do I really want to save the marriage? I may never have the chance, or want it, but I know right now, I have to get up enough strength to make myself the priority this time, along with my daughter.
It's still not feasible for the 2 of us to live separately, financially, but I am planning on that changing with some recent changes at work that we have been waiting for this past year.
I won't leave until we can do it comfortably. If she needs to get away from me..or has someone or somewhere else to go, so be it. It will tough but I'll figure it out.
The balls in her court now...I am not going to expend any energy on asking her about any of what I found yet. If she wants to talk about it, explain than she can and I will listen.
Until then, I'm a ghost. A polite, friendly. kind unemotional ghost. She does not get to be my friend right now.
