the meds are an issue but to me, YOU not getting serious help after MONTHS of acting like a man having a nervous breakdown IS JUST HUGE!! Frankly, you pretty much did have a break down to be blunt. Losing your job and moving TO Florida and THEN BACK, and the way you acted in front of your wife and obsessed ENDLESSY and CONSTANTLY - are the behaviors of someone who did HAVE a breakdown...and you have not seen a c yet. I'm amazed b/c I sure thought you had. WTH?
MOST of your questions of us, you have asked before, and more than once. Either you the problems we fear you have, OR you are careless in your reading of our posts, and therefore we don't want to keep caring more than you do, about YOUR life. Make sense?
So for me, seems you want help but you want it from US or "church friends" on your terms only, as we can't "make" you do anything and we can't check on you so we have to take your word for all this and you SURE leave things out kev....and you DO ignore most advice given OR repeat the same mistake over and over....Wow...okay, so yeah, let's say you Do care about your life and the work WE put into trying to help...
That means you have some serious issues you will never heal from without professional help...but that's so far down on YOUR list of "things to do" it's insane, literally, and yet you think if your w said "Come home now Kev" that you'd be fine, and the M would ALL be different??
Kevin, both things cannot be true. If you have serious psychological/biochemical problems for which you self medicated with alcohol, AND you have not gotten help for those very problems, then you should NOT even contemplate getting back with your wife now OR any time soon. So the 100 days is like a bandaid of time for you to START getting better. I had no idea you had gotten no counselling. Man!
So you are getting no money (or furniture) from her, NO child support...but you're too broke to get med care. Gee, good thing you took NO support from your wife b/c NOW you cannot afford to get healthy enough for her to take you back!!...see how much nonsense I see in that line of reasoning?
Oh, and let's admit it...the real reason you took no money from her was to 1) avoid conflict with her so she would not get mad at you....and 2) a tactical choice to make yourself look better. It was not about the kids or their needs. If you didn't need the money, (WHICH YOU DO) what about the girls? Instead of putting the money into a 529 plan OR saving it in case you do lose your job and need some money for a place for your girls to live in, with you...but no, you put your pride ahead of them...[b]a therapist or c would have helped you see this.
And if you admitted things like not having a c, which I have asked many times, OR if you had taken the advice I know I and others gave you at the time, you would have made a much healthier decision. But you forgot to tell me "oops no c" AND you ignored the advice about the money set aside for the girls or a rainy day. Rainy days include not having the money for psych help. (If I'd known you had no medical...now I'm getting a bit ticked...
I mean I could swear you said you made an appointment with a c, or "called for one" implying that you were doing it.... AND what about a L? oh, You "called one" once??
See to me, you have not thrown us ANY BONE. And this is NOT about the divorce date passing! There are much bigger issues here. I
I'm a health L and no MD prescribes meds without evaluating you. So, what'd he/she say to you? Didn't they recommend c and could or did give you a referral for one? Sometimes it's free but MUST YOUR MED CARE BE FREE???
(THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW KEV, IS "NO, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE FREE"....Why? B/C IT IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO PAY FOR MED CARE IF WE HAVE TO, TO FIX THE UNDERLYING PROBLEMS WE HAVE - THAT CAUSE US AND OUR LOVED ONES SO MUCH MISERY IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO IT IS THE MOST LOVING AND BRAVE THING WE CAN DO...FIX US... That's why it's okay to pay for SOME things in life. And to get some furniture and sell it if you have to, to have some money. What were you thinking was going to happen, she'd wake up and say "COME HOME, and thank God we don't have to move a couch b/c if we had to move a stick of furniture, I would NOT want you to come home".... And Why did you refuse ALL the advice you got here AND not see a L or C?
The big pattern I see is that you really like short cuts to everything. And you are blind to how much that is truly "costing" you in real life.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
