Divorce looming #14

[K4D]

Throw you all a bone. Ok. I don't have the funds for C right now and I called the free service again and still have not heard back from them. I have no doubt that I have a chemical imbalance. I think that has become obvious to me. But I am on long term meds that should help that out. The xanax was only temporary until the long term stuff kicks in. I only took half a dosage today and still came home and took a nap. So I obviously don't want to stay on the xanax.

I am starting to make friends at church that have been through this that I talk to. I am even getting involved in a group called christians serving others. They go around and help people do things that they can't do on their own. More elderly than anything.

I guess I was just so excited that W didn't show up to finish off the D today. It was a relief and happy moment. It wasn't due to lack of funds as there is nothing more she has to pay for. I didn't come after her for child support. I let her have what she wanted for the most part.

But I get what you all are saying about the xanax, I think you have more than made your point on that.

I'm glad you all care. I really am. And I guess I got a little excited for nothing today. I just know that I really prayed hard that this D would be dismissed and somehow it happened. I thought ok, I have some more time to work with. How can I best utilize this opportunity I thought.

But then I got blasted for being happy about being given a bit more time to maybe work on things some more before they become final.

I did not tell my W what the meds were for. I just told her I needed to have something checked on me. She asked if it was an infection. I said sort of yes. That was the end of that. She was fine with it and said she had taken meds before that made her drowsy to so she understood that one.

As far as finding another woman. I don't want another woman. I have given that one a lot of thought. And I just don't see myself being happy with anyone else. I think I would have the problem of always comparing her to my W before she became like this and thats not fair to the new woman.

Besides, I have 2 daughters. Who wants to take on 2 girls that aren't there own. And they would have to treat my girls wonderful before I could even look at them being with me.

I did eat dinner with Lnlyrzr last night and I had a good time with him. I think we were out until almost midnight.

Tonite I have my kids back. Today was their last day of school. They both made all A's and B's. I was very proud of them.

Tomorrow night I am going to a friends house to learn more about his business he runs. I'm hoping I can take that and do something with it.

My plan for 100 days? I'm still thinking that one through. I will get back to you on that one though.

Kevin