WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

Just some journaling...

I picked up my 3 year old first. He was so excited to see me. Just like when I picked him up yesterday, although he was so excited, when he ran over to me, he tumbled over a few toys and knocked over a couple of kids. He picked himself up and just said "I'm ok" and ran and gave me a big hug shouting "Daddy" over and over again. You have got to love kids

He wouldn't stop talking all the way over to picking up my 7 year old. My 7 year old saw me and gave me a hug and said he missed me. He then said that he had wanted to come home last nite too, but didn't say anything when the 3 year was stressing about it because he didn't want to make mommy sad. I told him that he will never know until he ask, so he should never be afraid about asking.

I had really wanted to say - don't worry about making mommy sad because she isn't worried about what she is doing and how it makes us feel, but I thought Sandi would head over with her club again.

Anyway, the boys and I got home. I started dinner as my 7 year old did his homework and my 3 year old played. They were both very happy and with no stressing going on. It was great. They ate dinner very nicely as each of them talked about their day. Of course there were a few times when they were talking over each other or my 7 year old was trying to one up his little brother's stories, but it was a great time.

We got baths without any issues and the kids and I played some board games until it was time to read books. I read books with them both, watched a show and they both went to bed. I noticed when I tucked my 7 year old in bed, he seemed a little sad (like he was about to cry). I just gave him a really big hug and goodnite kiss and asked if he was ok. He said he was just tired. I smiled at him as I told him that I love him and that I was glad he was home. He just said me to.

During prayers, he asked again for mommy to come home soon. All the other times, I would get a little choked up when I heard that. This time, I just told him that his prayer was very nice and kissed him good nite.

The 3 year old said his prayers and just asked for water once.

It is great to have the boys home. I am staying focused on living life for these moments with my boys and not let my situation distract from the quality time with them. I didn't even check this forum on my Blackberry the entire time!

Huge step for me!