I think she's in withdrawal because she's never really "admitted" to me that it was an A even though she told me she kissed him a couple of times and wanted to leave our family for him. How messed up is that?
My thought is maybe she figured her attraction to this guy was a wake up call to her that there's something better to her out there. One thing she told me was that she's not attracted to me and was never attracted to me. And said that she was attracted to this guy.
Just FYI, this OM looks like her grandfather...literally. Her grandfather was the only positive male role model in her life. Her dad left their family when she was six and never came home. So when we were first dating up to the month that she left (17 years mind you), she would ask me if I would ever cheat on her and that there was never a good reason to cheat on somebody, etc. Boy was I surprised when I found out what she did. She even denied it. I kind of blew up when I told her that she had some nerve to ask me about cheating (and I have never done it) when she did it herself.
She then would tell me that it's not about him but about us. Then when I asked her what was wrong with us, she would either say 'never mind' or that it was little resentments that built up over time. When I asked her for an example, she would say times like when I forgot to put the garbage out on garbage day. WHAT?! That's your reason to leave?
Then she would get upset and say "don't you get it? I don't love you any more. and I just want to be alone."
Thing is...when we're at home with the kids or even alone at the dinner table together, we can talk and joke and if you were watching, you'd never think there was anything wrong.
What do you think?
You should read your post again, you based her attraction for this other guy on physical looks which suggests to me that you don't know how attraction works between men & women.
Her telling you that she isn't attracted to you is the truth.
Her telling you that was never attracted to you isn't the truth.
She was attracted to you at one point. You exhibited traits & behaviors that were very attractive to her just like this OM is doing right now.
You're still stuck in a rut because you haven't changed your way of thinking and looking at all of this.
