So how fast did your W turn around after you started dating? Again, just curious. And is there any reason why you're not reconciled if she's doing all that?
Very quickly.
It was like turning on a light switch in a dark room.
She got angry, she flipped out, she never expected that I would do something like that, she liked the power she had that she could be in more than one relationship and keep me in the background just in case things never worked with her affair.
When I started dating, it showed her I was moving on. The realization that the person she considered a possession was no longer her's anymore. The dynamic in the power structure changed, as soon as I stopped tolerating her behavior and started entertaining the notion that i could find someone just as easily as she could threw her off balance. She no longer had that power over me, she no longer held the power in the relationship. She switched gears to apologizing, damn-near begging, pleading for me to stop.
It was a weird situation to be in because I wanted to believe her and I did for a bit of time.
But as soon as I stopped, the old behaviors crept back on her part. Once she saw that it was quite easy to get me back when I had struggled so hard and so long to get her back she thought she regained the power in the relationship. My value in her perception dropped again because she knew I was waiting for her.
I had to resume dating & getting a life and going dark for her to realize that I wasn't going to wait around anymore.
