Well guys I think my time on the board is running out. I have come to accept that my xh will not be returning. Why? Well I have left him alone for a couple months, I know that isnt much, but I have to start somewhere. I called him once about a month ago, or 3 weeks ago maybe, to inquire about insurance on our home and taxes we owe, he talked pretty nice. The conversation lasted about 2 min. I ended it. Well today I called him because of a serious issue I was worried about with son, really personal and dont want to discuss it here, anyway he answered and I said xxxxx. Click is all I heard, yep he hung up on me before I could take a breath. He was at work, this is how I always spoke with him. I thought after the last conversation that possibly we were making a little progress in being civil with one another, but I was WRONG apparently. I just cant imagine why he hates me soooo much. Yes I think about it, it bothers me. To think we will never speak again hurts me and it will in the long run hurt our son. I called back a few times leaving messages and trying to get him to speak with me, for it was VERY important that I spoke with him before my son came home. I left him messages, but didnt do any good. The last message I left him was that I wanted him to imagine how he would have felt if his mom and dad were to never speak to each other. They are deceased now but I know, as anyone would, it would be very hurtful. I also told him to forget it, I would deal with it myself and that I didnt understand him and that I was disappointed in him. I didnt raise my voice and get angry or anything like that. I know that I probably should have let it go. But to be frank, I have let everything go thus far. I dont think there is nothing more I can do to change his way of thinking and how he feels. I have took and took from his attitude and anger until I can not take anymore. I know him leaving his not ALL his fault, but his attitude now IS. I am trying to get along and he wont have nothing of it. He was better before the new gf, but now everything has changed. I will not give up praying for him. I still have my faith but for now I think I need to get off this board and live my life. I will probably come back every now and then to check in and speak to everyone. I appreciate everything everybody tried to do for me. I just think it is time to start rebuilding my life without him. I think reading others stories does give me hope but at the same time I think it hold up my progress because I am expecting the same results and getting my hope up. I end up sitting around waiting for it to happen, when in all honesty GOD may have something else planned for me. Anyway thanks guys, Snodderly and BH, BND and a few others that have been here awhile, BLESS YOU for everything you do.
