WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[MrBond]

"This is where I am so torn as to what's been offered recently. I know some have said there is no hope so for the health of myself and my kids, I need to be prepared for a life without my wife. So by preparing for a life without my wife, am I, by default giving up?"

You're missing the point. You build up your confidence because 1) it makes you much more attractive to your W and you find the strength to continue to fight for your M, and 2) IF things don't work out, you'll understand that you'll be fine.

I've been at this for over a year. I still believe in my M and still stand for my M. I do things like write goals, try different things to attract my W (whether it's giving her space, spending time with her, talking, etc.), and at the same time have a list of my own personal goals that I am working on to make me a better individual (working out, new projects, run a marathon). Yet at the same time, if I came home today and found out my W had packed everything and left, I would be fine and at peace because I know I did everything I could. No hard feelings. That's the level of detachment you'll get to.

Do I want my M? Of course! Will I survive without it? Yes!

"This is a fine line to balance."

It is and it's like what Wifey said about being nuance. It's a shift in the dynamic of your thinking.