First-time poster here. Unfortunately, I find myself in the same circumstances as some of you. To make a very long story short -- my H of almost 12 years admitted a few weeks ago that he has been having what he categorizes as an on and off PA with a former co-worker (in another state) for the last 3 years. This has been mostly a cell-phone/text relationship, but it has been physical when they have seen each other. I have suspected this, but he has always denied/had excuses when I have brought up my suspicions in the past.
He finally admitted everything because the OW is pregnant (due in October). He claims that he now realizes that it was all a big mistake and wants to recommit to our marriage. He has told OW that he is not leaving me, but will support the child financially and would like to have some part in its life. I don't know how I am supposed to believe that, though I would like to. I do love him and we have three young children of our own. I know there are a few of you who are in similar situations -- please help. I go from sadness to rage to hopelessness. I don't know how to forgive him, whether to believe him and I don't know how in the world (assuming I stay with him) I am going to live with a constant reminder of his infidelity. There will never be a clean break from this woman.
OW is very angry as she was clearly sure he would leave me given her pregnancy -- my intuition is that she got pregnant purposely to force his hand as he's been stringing her along for years, obviously telling her he was unhappy and was going to leave me, but never actually taking any concrete steps to do so. So far, according to H, it has been radio silence from her since he told her it was over (3 weeks ago).
This is all so fresh and crazy I just don't know where to start trying to get things back on track. I feel like my life is turning into the Maury Povich show. I don't even know who H is -- how could he risk my health, my children's security, everything we'd worked for in our marriage for this woman (who is NOTHING special)? I haven't slept in weeks. Oh, and did I mention that I was laid off of my job at the end of April, so I went from being the primary breadwinner to being dependent on my H's income once the cushion I had runs out (probably by mid to late July).
We are scheduled to go to Retrouvaille at the end of June, but I frankly don't know how I won't go crazy before then. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks in advance, Exhausted
