After my wonderful yoga class and one of the first liberated mornings I've felt in a while, I received a couple of money related emails and a message from H. Immediately...spin...La Moja devolves into Barely Alive and Kicking...
So, H comes back Monday afternoon and I need some tips, new ones, recap, what have you, for building up the mojo and sustaining it.
On the upside, sad as it is, I FEEL much more matter of fact. We are no longer a pair. I get it. D is most likely outcome (struggling with the logistical limbo issue). I don't feel "in love" with H. I don't pine for him. I don't long to have sex with him. I don't think he's the one that got away. I DO think that we have choices. It is sad that we can be friends and are attracted to each other and are not choosing to make efforts to stay together. That is it. That's my truth.
So, he has lost much of his mojo in my eyes, but, I really lose focus when money comes up or logistical conversations in general (just realizing that is the button). I'm sort of ok in limbo but the conversations involving money, kids, living arrangements...I go back to oh no, not Divorce!!!!
