Ok, I follow you all with the xanax. But can't I enjoy just a little bit of happiness that a little more time has been bought that maybe I can use to put my best foot forward and try and make some sort of a difference? I mean anything is possible if done right.
See, the problem is you are only happy because once again, your happiness rides on what your W does (or doesnt) do. Before ANYTHING can happen you *need* to find happiness within yourself. You need to do that with the same urgency that one needs food, water and air to survive. You have not yet put your best foot forward for YOU after all this time. I guess I dont understand why a temporary but of time will change all that much with you. Yes, anything is possible if done right but thus far not much has been done right. It seems not getting divorced has given you confidence and a more positive outlook and you need to have that for YOU w/o worrying about divorce papers. You still dont seem to get it - you base your happiness and outlook on your W. SHE DOES NOT LIKE THAT!
Yes I know she is going out again tonite. But hey, I have some more time to work on things. She won't file right away again. Its time and time is a gift that has been given to me again whatever the reason may be. I have it for now. Thats a huge plus.
You have no idea when she might file again. It could be tomorrow for all you know. Why is this gift of time any different? You have had the gift of time for months and months and it was a gift you overlooked and shunned.
I refuse to look at the negative today. I'm looking at this as an opportunity to continue to show I am worthy.
Well, do as you must but nobody will think you are worthy until you know in your heart, soul and mind that you are worthy as an individual. It seems your only goals are to show your W what you can be when your focus should be on what you are becoming as an individual.
I find this all very upsetting to be truthful. You are only happy because the D papers were not filed and that is a very, very dangerous mindset to be in. Dont give yourself false hope and forget about your W until you know YOU are worthy as a man on your own.
