Over the Shock and GALing 4

[AlexEN]

I'm reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

I read it years ago, but it's really good to revisit it. Some of the things hit me quite differently now than they did when I first read it as new exec fresh out of the military with no kids, no M, and relatively no experience.

In particular, the reprinted section in Chapter 1 - "Father Forgets" - really hit home.

For any who are interested, here is a link to a google books copy:
Father Forgets, by W Livingston Larned

It really makes you think about your R with your kids.

My oldest son "graduated" from Middle School yesterday and I go him a card on which the printed words told him how much love and pride I feel for him (he's had a tough time already, but HE has overcome a lot... from being diagnosed as bi-polar to getting straight A's)... But the sentiment expressed in Father Forgets is so similar to the thoughts I was trying to express to him in the card where, paraphrasing, I wrote:

Son,

You can't possibly know how proud I am of you and what you've overcome -- of course you can't, because we, as parents, don't tell you enough that there's so much more about you that we love than we don't -- as the things that aren't so great get disproportionate "air time". So, I want to tell you now just how proud I am of the great strides you've made in just a few short years -- from being "grounded for life" in 6th grade because you weren't even putting forth an effort true to yourself, to becoming a top student. Don't forget, all we ever asked for was for you to give it your best effort. The results have been a wonderful plus, but they all came from YOU. You're a great kid, a great brother to your siblings, and I'm proud that you are my son. But, and this is where I started, the real reason I'm telling you all of this is because Dads sometimes forget to tell their children enough about the good in them -- there is far more that I love about you than you hear. So, even when the words don't sound loving or do sound harsh, please remember this card and that what I'm always feeling about you is love and pride.

Love,

Daddy