Hi Gang,

Update on weekend.

I went to the party Saturday night, H had suggested that he would Pick D up from the party she had gone to and he would bring her along later.

I got to party, All my family were askinmg where H was< I told them he would be here shortley, ( My family all know about my DBing, dont fully understand, but have strongly supported me) Some of them are not happy H had an A, but for me, because I have asked them all, have forgiven.

So when H arrived, My BIL went up to him shook his hand and said " alright mate, Nice to see you" I think H felt emediate relif from that. Then one by one they all gradually said hello, My Brother cracked a little joke by saying " where ya been ?? H laughed and said I been about. I had to bite my lip and not say hmmm thats the problem.

Any way, I think H was pleased that the family had not rejected him

Funny bit

We left the party, once outside, H didn't know what to do, he had his car , I had mine.

I said you coming home ?
He said oh ok then

We got home, I made coffee, D went to bed, H and I sat on sofa.
After coffee, I said you going or stayin?
He shrugged his shoulders. I said is that yes or no?
He shrugged again lol ( twit)
I took cups in Kitchen, came back in and said so u decided?
H said : well I have my contact lense xase in car.
I said: Oh yeah why s that ?? ( grinning)
H said: just in case
Then In morning, H was meant to be going Boat show, So I asked if he had clean clothes.
H said yeah in car
I said: what exactly have you got in the car
H said : Overnight bag Lolololololol.
Anyway H eneded up being to late to go to Boat show things happened made him late.
After we lay there and I asked him, so was you gonna buy a boat ??
H said Im seriously considering it.
I said: Have you won the lottery?
H said No and laughed. any way the next bit is all complicated of how he would have the money for the boat so i wont go into it, However It did bring up issues that made me realise H has been spending more than he should, He has always been a saver .

I told him if you feel you want to buy a boat then do It!!
Then I suggessted he think about the reason he sold the last one tho.
H said, I didn't have enough time to go out on it.
I said: do you think you will Now ?
H said: Ill make time.
I said: the problem is H is you dont turn Nothing dowm, you cant do iyt all.
H said I know
I said; this is half our problem, I said, You was never here H and I built up so much resentment for that. I said I tried to accept it, Because I didn't want to rock the boat, so On the surface I accepted, But deep doen I resented it.
H said: I Know
I said: I have learnt though, I will never do that again.
I said: If I dont like something I will say.
I then said anyway dont buy boat today.
H said Why ?
I said cos it all depends wether we have a future together.
H said, so what you are saying is if we get back together, you dont want me to have a boat today.
I said : Know thats not what Im saying, You just analyzed that all wrong.
I said What I was saying is, If we have a future together, I want to help choose the boat.
H Said : Oh I see.
He then said But you dont like sailing, I said H we just had a bad experience that I didn't like, I never said I wouldn't ever go sailing with you again though. I said you decided that.
Then I said. Do you think we have a future together.
H said, Do You??
I said : ohh you always do that, answer a Q with a Q, Its my Q I asked it first.
H said I dont know.
I said : what Are you Questioning about Us ?
H said, do you think we have future?
I said : If both of us are prepared to change yes.
H said: I dont think I want to change.
I said. Maybe not change, but I want to drop my resentment.
But I cant do that if you continue to keep me at bottom of the pile, I need to be at least no2 priority.
H said : I dont know what I want sue, I just dont know.
I think I shocked him here
I said : I dont know what I want either, I said a few people including My daugters have comented on how happy I am latley, and I have been happy H, I have found me again, and I want to keep me.
He said have they.
I said yes, Its nothing to do with you, its to do with the sitch, how we had both got, I was unhappy and I hadn't realised how much.
H said. oh.
I dont know how I changed the subject after that But I did, somehow, and I had a backslide.
I started non about OW, asked him why he chose, such an ugly one.
H said do we have to go into that, I sadi Just somehing thats bothering me.
he said why have you changed subject to this?
I said Im sorry, I didn't meant to rake that up. ooops
Anyway after all that he was too late for boat show. I tried to push him to still go, but he wouldn't.

Anyway, I feel there were some good points coverd and maybe some bad.
I think we have done quite a bit Of R talk latley, I feel I need to back off from that, and make it all fun again.

Oh I forgot, I did say to H if we ever get back together, we need to change our lifes, I cant go back to what we had.
He said yes I agree with that.

Anyway, if you have read all this, lol thanks, bit long I know.

Sue