Gonna Get Me A Mojo Hand

[Thinker]

OrangeDog!!

Thanks for that - something clicked when I read it...

I realized that letting go is exactly what I need to do. It is obvious, but I had not seen it because I kept saying "but I am not getting D'd yet. My W is not leaving (yet), so I can't just say 'It's already over'"

What I didn't realize until this mental "click" is that although the M is still alive on life support, that is not what I have to let go of.

I have been holding onto the concept, the belief, in a close, intimate, mutual R that I have always believed existed. But that R died 2 years ago! It's gone! It's already dead!

All that is left is a strained friendship with a woman with whom I happen to share a history, 3 children and a lot of financial responsibilities.

I kept convincing myself that since the M and the friendship still exist that the other part, the romantic R, still exists somewhere as well. I have been holding on to, missing, grasping for, building expectations around the part of the R that is gone! gone! gone!

Let it go!

(Oh, and on a strange note: that "Friend" just called from work and asked me out to dinner tonight... )
----

Thanks OD and SP!