First off, I had the definition of "being stuck" explained to me and I don't think you are stuck. (Here comes the "love" Mach)
You are caught in the middle of a web but I see you climbing to the edges to get out. You have been taking steps to move forward with your life. They may be small steps but they are steps.
Being stuck is asking the same questions over and over again and not coming up with a solution. You have had solutions. I notice whenever you want to do something it seems people tend to knock you down. I don't understand this. Yes, everyone has their own opinions and I am all for any advice given but in the end, only YOU know how to handle your xw.
We have been through this before. I know what I say is more upfront than most people and I get blasted for it. I just think sometimes the gloves have to come off and you have to get in there and fight it out. You can't walk on your tippy toes all the time just because the other person is in MLC or crazyville. Does everyone expect you to stoop to her level all the time just because she is not all with it?
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I'm sorry but mlc, abc, defg it's just plain wrong. I am still fighting off the incredible urge to go OFF on her about. (new mlc term) kid dumping.
Sometimes you have to shock them into coming slightly back to reality. If you say something that will piss her off...oh well. She will get over it. I don't know your xw and how she does things but I can tell you every time my stbx and I would get into an argument within 24 hours he had forgotten about it. If not, I didn't care because he left me alone.
The more you pull away nicely, the more she is going to come around. The more you ignore her now, the more she is going to come around. Honestly, I think you want to say something to her but are afraid everyone will hold it against you. Just because a person is in MLC doesn't mean they can walk all over you. They need to be put in their place also. WTH have you got to lose?
As I have said before MLC is just an excuse. Once they know they can do or say what they want and we are going to step back they will take advantage. I'm not saying cuss her out or yell constantly at her. Just tell her what you think about things. She is emailing you to communicate...well, communicate with her then. Answer her back and then add a few lines of your own. The worst she can do is ignore you. I'm telling you, it won't last long.
Maybe I am bitter about a lot of things but I am just so sick of being walked on. I am sick of seeing all my friends get walked on.
One of our friends told me that they were hoping for miracles. A miracle would be nice but honestly, after the way our exes have treated us do we really think we could forget everything and have a great future with them if they came home? I'm not saying it can't happen but if we let them walk on us now because we are afraid of pushing them further away, then how do you think they are going to treat us if they came home? Stand up to them now and show them that we are strong people.
Trapt, in my eyes I see a man that wants to move forward with his life but is afraid to because of everyone around him. Afraid of what they will say. You have said "I have either avoided or turned down going out on a dates. I'm a long way away from anything serious, but at this same time...well I don't have to tell you. You have been there. It would be nice to spend a little time with someone. Again I'm not really looking for it but hey if it happens it happens."
If you feel it is time to get out into the world again then no one will hold it against you. You deserve to get out and be happy. I will warn you though, once you start dating they tend to try to get in your business even more.
I read between the lines in your posts and to me it says you are ready for new things but are afraid to take the first step. Don't worry about what anyone will say to you. YOU do it for YOU!!!
