The letter could have been a mistake that I might regret later on as far as our M but after seeing her this morning with almost tears in her eyes I cant deny that it moved her which in turn helped me. I think questioning her immoral behavior, decisions, and actions might of been the best thing I have done. Thanks to everyone here that helped me stand up and question her has made me feel better about myself. I knew the letter wasn't going to change her mind but it changed me to help me be stronger. Thank you everyone
Would you show us the letter?
I don't have it all here at work but you will get the gist of it. I felt as though I needed to get it to her asap because her and OM are going away for the weekend. A lot of it I got from others here. When I gave it to her I told her that its a shame that she will never get to see the real me. She said she would just not as a couple and I just shrugged as if to say "your loss!"
Originally Posted By: Mr Mom
W, Going through this all has released such a flood of emotion in me that I am seeing life clearly for the first time in years. You’re right to have questioned our relationship and it is something we should have dealt with long ago. I’d questioned it, too but why is it you were very ready to take a dangerous and reckless and immoral risk with this man, when you are not prepared to take a risk for me and our marriage?
You know where I stand, and that is for marriage and family. I want the loving wife I promised to spend the rest of my life with back. I want our kids to grow up under the guidance and example of two loving parents. It hurts me to know that maybe there was something wrong with me that caused you to go outside the sanctity of our marriage and seek the attention of another man. Maybe it was not me, but you; however I still wonder if there was anything I could have done different to not have had this happen.
I know we weren’t “wrong” about each other; the mistake we made was losing our way. I’ve learned enough in these couple months to see that I finally know how to cherish you as I always should have. The other day you asked "Why are you being so nice?" and I couldn’t answer you at the time but afterwards I read that "pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return." This is how I felt.
It took a crisis to make me realize the obvious. As their role model, I don’t want D5 and D3 to repeat the same love mistakes I’ve made. Ironically, I especially worry about D5 for reasons that I see now and I hope her shyness and ”leave me alone" attitude doesn’t evolve the way mine did. I want to be a better example for them and to be the generation where “dysfunctional” love dies. I will do everything in my power to make sure our girls don't settle for a guy like the “old” me or a guy like the OM that I believe if he were a true man he'd want to be sure you were making the right choice and surely he'd want to have some integrity and tell you to work on your marriage and not come back. Says a lot about what kind of man he is! Do you want that kind of man for the girls or yourself?
There’s still time for them to see and get the best of us together; not the worst. I can’t take away the questions and doubts that flood you, but I can try. I can't erase the pain nor would it be fair of me to beg you to “trust me”. I can't beg and plead for you to come back. That makes me appear weak and needy. I don't need you to live my life happily; however, I want you as my loving wife because I know we are so good together. There are no magic words I can say that will bring you back to me. You have to want me and our family life. Only you can truly make yourself happy.
