another newcomer - thread #2

[JKL2009]

No, she hasn't been reading books. She has leaned on her support network of friends/family and who knows what else. She has brought things up from time to time all over the last 8 weeks. We did a lot of talking the first week or so, then it backed off. Most of things come up when we talk "business" of separation and stuff, that then evolves into a bit of R. There were several times in the first 4 weeks I would make my case for me changing and giving us another chance, which she flat out said no. Last night was the first time I brought it up in weeks(the look on her face I read as really wanting to hear what I had to say). There was even a couple times where we were interrupted by S or something, and she came back with "you were saying" or some such, wanting me to continue. That was empowering.

That being said, there is a lot of work to be done and a long way to go. I am in my paradox of believing the separation will go forward and the divorce will happen, but I have some god feelings as well that my actions are working and I am showing her what needs to be shown to create doubt.

Patience is the most important thing, and yes acting happy is the hardest. Just be positive, thinking with a soft heart. Logic is not involved here, it is all about empathy. The WAS is confused, hurt, and going through complex and changing emotions.

Check out both my threads and I think you will be able to get more of my case than this little summary. Thanks for the support! Good luck!